The Bullsheet… Run 1552, Torrelaguna?

There was a lot of winging on the run today due to “cut knees” and “grazed legs”, seems some of the more wimpy elements of the Hash were not totally convinced by the rugged terrain the trail had to offer.  Not really sure what some people expect?  A run around the park perhaps!  Are these people hashers?  Well, yes, they are – In the same way that the Spice Girls are a Hard Rock Band!!  (That is, they aren’t…)

Going to the Hash and worrying about a couple of nicks and cuts is like going to an Indian restaurant and ordering a mild curry in case your arse hurts in the morning – Bloody pointless! It must be said, H3 is not a Korma, It’s a Phal – and somebody added death chilies to spice it up!!  Life’s too short to worry about a fiery ring-piece…

Today’s trail, treacherous under foot at times, lead us down valley through some spectacular countryside, which, in a sensory type of fashion, tickled our erogenous zones nicely.  This was hashing, in the truest sense of the word!!  Down and down we plodded then up and up we trekked…  Musica eventually arrived and went fleeting past me with his hound a foot, poor chap eventually arrived back at the cars to find the circle over and done with – Must have got lost??!!

In conclusion, a great little run, well done Chatter-Proof and 5 Skin!!  Then again, I have to say this, in fact, I would rather remove my own appendix than criticize these guys…  Chatter-Proof is not a woman to mess with and Floppy 5 looked extremely menacing sporting his new “Hair Do”!!

The circle commenced, a few specks of rain threatened, but nothing came, a little bit like a typical Hashman…  The usual embarrassing routine followed, churning up the dismal lives of the gathered brethren for the entertainment of the masses:

Worzel Gummadge: Duly slaughtered for his totally Americano-Germanic instructions to next weeks run…  Leaving Larry’s head west into Plaza de Cuzco, head north on La Castellana…  Don’t know what the chap had been drinking, but I would LOVE to try a pint or two!!

Sir Sir James: Seems he keeps having these “motoring incidents”.  Those of you who are only in the initial stages of Alzheimer’s will recall SSJ had a run-in with a taxi driver recently, the story ends when SSJ rammed said taxi drives stead with his big Yankee 4x4  leaving the chap disabled at the side of the road and without a source of income.

This time, SSJ claims he finds a gentleman of “Northern African” appearance going through his glove box with his legs hanging out of his truck.  As even the most cowardly of you will imagine, the only possible thing to do was ram the door shut repeatedly and attempt to break the fellow’s legs!!  Seems the cad was trying to “half inch” SSJs sunglasses (you know the ones – The things that look like welders goggles…) SSJ went on to say that the thief managed to talk himself out of the incident very convincingly and even managed to leave with said pair of sunglasses.  (Perhaps its time to have SSJ locked up in one of those nice residential establishments where they keep you doped up and he won’t be able to continually get into mischief??

Hotlips: Having hitched a ride in my wagon in order to catch up on the gossip from my full and exciting life, she promptly came up with a lovely little story on arrival at the restaurant.  Seems some years back she crashed into another hashers car in the same car park!!  I wont mention his name just in case he is still in touch with MH3 and could potentially be bigger than me…  The story goes as follows:  Seems that after crashing into his car, all of the rest of the Hash cheered and congratulated her!!  Not a popular chap then!!

El Porteño: Seems that the newly christened “Bar Slut” was going “twos up” with El P and Lostwaffe last night, after cooking them both a Chick Pea curry!!  That would explain El Ps flatulence today!!

5 Skin:  Impressive sock and new shoe coordination.

I DA HOE: Seems she completed the Paris marathon, but was waylaid towards the end where she found a trestle table full of champagne!!  True Hasher, she ran to end fueled by booze!!  Whilst we are talking about the lovely Idahoe, seems American is a more complicated language than I originally thought!!  Did any one else realize that “Tim ate shit” actually means – “Tim fell over”??  Funny chaps these Americanos!!

On to the restaurant review now…  As you all know, the Galloping Gourmet is most particular about his hostelries, to be honest I avoid most “Menu del Dia” and “Bodas, Comuniones, etc” type eateries in  the same way an intelligent man would avoid unprotected sex with an Ethiopian Transvestite…  However the quality these days just seems to be going up and up!!

No bitchin here then!!  I had the Salad followed by the Grease with chips.  All repugnant in every sense of the word.  Others tried the “Farty Fabada Asturiana”, but all seemed to think the tripe should be left on the side…  Its hard to screw up scrambled eggs, but I had had them for breakfast, with smoked salmon from the Gourmet Dept of El Corte Ingles.

The fish was the best choice, shame I did not choose it…  Desserts were adequate and the wine quite cheeky.

On Totally On

P-Max