Hares: Sir Sir James & Ginga Ninja
Author: Charlie no name
Special Event: St Patrick’s Day
Ha ha ha, life sucks hey?? It is Tuesday the 18th March 21.00 and I am home, alone, writing this bloody Bull Sheet (thanks Tight Fit) and my supposed ‘Friend’ – John no name is out on his 1st date with Veronica…… Yes, that’s right my fellow Hashers, the gorgeous wee Spanish chick I picked up in the shop Replay last Saturday. Cheers buddy, ha ha ha.. J (read on on for more).
It’s been a few weeks since I ran – and after a lift to the run in the car of our Rugby loving Rum drinking unbreakable friend Chatterproof I know why. Holy crap, corners at 70, gasping for my water the entire way and shouting an all dayer hangover from the previous 6 Nations day…. If there was no flour on the road after us I would not be surprised after the hand brake 360º turns and wheel spins. On arrival to the run we were welcomed by what can only be described as a traditional ST PATRICK’s DAY Green and Ginger welcoming party. St Patrick’s Day was upon us with Guiness Hats from Sir Sir James and of course our very own Ginger Ninja providing the Irish Fiery Red…..
So, off we went, Bandy Legs straight into an enormous Cow Shit (hilarious), Sister Belinda giving up at the second small obstacle due to an enormous bandage on her hand. Beautiful weather, rolling countryside, simply gorgeous!! The run was rated at approximately 9.6 I think 9 for the near vertical hills and 6 for the terrible effort of getting rid of the brambles. Mark IV, Bandy Legs, John no name, Hanky Wanky, myself and wait…….. Ginger Ninja all Front Running Bastards, great sweeping Ginger Ninja, not sure how you do it from the front but excellent…. The run started off with a Checkpoint, Mark IV disappearing into the usual silence, But for What shouting for more ON ON’s and Tight Fit losing the trail every 2 paces (or was that me). There were more Checkpoints, a Hold 5 which was again duly ignored by you know who and then it was off down the scree escarpments and vertical running, across streams, babbling brooks and stagnant pools…. We had the lot all before the best False Trail I have ever seen with just about every FRB’s along with Middle RB’s and the Back RB’s all over the place, no one shouting On On, pandemonium. That may be where we lost Very Grim and not sure of name but Very Unhappy Girl. Who can blame the poor lass, stuck out in the wild, all alone.. J That was all before the group had to contend with the Brambles, lots of walking, thrashing at the thorns, legs ripped to shreds, pain and blood, nothing but brute force…. 59 minutes on my watch, bit short at 7.5km on the GPS though I suspect those clever Short Cutting Bastards did more in the region of 7km.
After the run The Children challenged the gifted international superstar footballers such as myself, Hanky Wanky and John no name to an all star game of Football. After 8 tantalizing goals, a penalty and much Cow Shit being kicked around it was 4 – 4 with a final shot from Central Striker Shane no name hit the winner. While this was all going on Sir Sir James decided it would be a great idea to not only ruin some Cava and ruin some Guiness by mixing them together. Not quite sure what that was all about but I am fairly certain the idea did not come from Sir Cultchie I believe our only True Irish blood in what can only be described as a Dutch Hash right now with the amount we have. Very Grim and Very Unhappy Girl still not back, the Circle began with the usual passion and enthusiasm from But for What and Tight Fit.
A busy circle, firstly on to the rotten snitching of which myself and John no name were the 1st culprits. Firstly the hares, But For What and Perv gave Sir Sir James and Ginga Ninja a 9.6 – it was awesome scenery, but remember we are still 2 people short of a full pack.
Prick of the Week went to the only person in my short history of Hashing that it ever goes to and rightly so as his favourite song is ‘Silence is Golden, Golden….. Yep, Mark IV for as always not calling On On.
Shit of the week was contended for by: Yours Truly, John no Name, Ginga Ninja, Hanky Wanky & 1 other but rightly went to Ginga Ninja for some terrible Sweeping from the front and yes, we are still 2 people down!!!! El Sordo was near devastated when he was bracketed ‘Bald’ proving he was not by removing his hat and showing all his 7 hairs, Good on ya El Sordo, you tell them!!!
Other Down Downs included Green Lager, Red Lager, Blue Lager the whole array was on offer. Bandy Legs assuming a very convincing Gay Guy, Perv having some Gay Invites in his car with Hanky Wanky name on it and someone, sorry I didn’t see who kept breaking into song, like every 2 minutes, quite a beautiful voice, female, sexy, my number is…….. Call me!! Oh and of course the Veronica – Replay saga between myself and John no name but quite honestly, I’ve had enough J.
Last call, runners sent out to look for Very Grim and Very Unhappy Girl who are still lost, only to stroll over the crest of the hill to let us know they were not lost, just enjoying the scenery, cheers!
On on to the Restaurant, ho ho ho, ha ha ha….. Everyone was clearly on edge after the apparent disaster the week before…. And oh how we were not disappointed, let me tell you if you do not know already… Feel anything on your foot during the course of the meal? Maybe a cat? A small dog? Or another small fury animal or maybe even a Fucking GINORMOUS RAT. No not Rat with a Snatch – a fucking Rat the size of a dog, gave Shatterproof a black toe as it ran over foot it was that big… The meal was fine, I was 5kg lighter by the time it turned up but otherwise all good. Sister Belinda was having a conversation…………. with everybody I think, wow, that is some voice you got Sister Belinda, love it!!!!!
Hashers, I want to close this Hash Bull Sheet as I started it with an update to the Veronica Story. I have to leave you with the quote of the week which I received at 08.56 on the morning of Wednesday 19th March 2008 from John no name on my telephone:
“I will be holding a full in depth Press Conference with everyone later but I just wanted to let you know that my date last night with Veronica went very well, so well in fact it also went very well this morning, ha ha. She has just left and I am off to work. Speak later, unless you are sulking which I understand” – John no name, 19.02.2008
Don’t forget the Pan Iberian Hash in May a well advertised event that financially awards participants for booking early and of course the Asturias Hash in July!!!!
On On!
Charlie no name…….. out!!!
 |
 |
 |