The Ever Changable Weather Run

Nº 1548 23 March 2008

Many a time have I driven the Burgos Highway, however it was only this last Sunday that I really noticed just how many hoardings there are at the roadside offering services of a “Personal Relaxation” nature for the weary traveller in a chain of establishments called simply “Club”.  Is it simply per chance that the hares proudly claimed that they had been up the Burgos highway 10 times in recent evenings to recce this run?  Many questions remain!

The length of the run certainly indicated a multi-pronged recce approach, not to mention vehicular assistance in the trail laying process…  ASH (Almighty Sexual Hero) and TOOOOOO Long well and truly lived up to their reputations of Ball Busting Hares.

The run itself was set through some majestic countryside, so I am told, I did not see that much as the snow blizzard that started to beat down upon us reduced visibility a lot.  A very long uphill struggle followed all the way to the beer stop on top of the mountain, where the snow let back for a while to let us enjoy the view from the Sierra de Guadalix.

Arriving last at the beer stop I found a rather distressed ASH wondering where Sir Sir James and But For What were! Both now missing and presumed D.O.T. (Dead on Trail).  Myself, I too was rather distressed, this being due to the harrowing experience of having to cross the three metre wide bridge with three people who all had a fear of heights!  Not a problem, my motivational skills were put to the test, but Von Lostwaffe, Sister Belinda and Culitus Minimus made it to the other side without having a heart attack or falling off…

The On-In trail was fairly straight forward, if a little long – We had after all run in a straight line away from the cars for an hour!  Back at the cars the weather did not know what it was doing, changing from one minute to the next – Snow to Sun, Snow to Sun…  Tim Rat was most distressed at having to keep changing clothes to cover the requisites of such a changing climate.

A small rugby game was had before the circle, but this unfortunately drew to a premature close when Floppy 5 Skin attempted to knock poor Scrambled Dag unconscious with a viciously thrown rugby ball to the back of the head!  Funnily enough, he had had the impertinence to insult Hanky Wankys throwing skills just 2 minutes previously!!

A circle was called, the snow came down harder than ever, thank God we finished off that nasty supermarket own brand beer and have returned to the Sacred Mahou.  (Not too well iced today luckily!!)

Notable Down Downs included:

1) Von Lostwaffe for being El Porteños lover boy!  Seems he is running the bar, driving Larrys car, wearing Larrys clothes and possibly banging Larrys girlfriend!  That’s true H3 brotherhood – Share and share alike boys!

2)  Sir Sir James for the best Easter Bunny costume.

3)  Charlie “no mates” and his “ex-friend” John “attention ladies don’t sleep with me because I give Press Conferences on your performance to my mates the following day & sorry chaps, but I will make a move on your ladies”  (it’s a long name, but a good one I feel – Christening next week?)

4)  Floppy 5 Skin for buying his clothes from a Kays catalogue

5)  Sister Belinda for fearing she may be a “little pregnant” (admittedly this could have been blown out of all proportion or indeed be a total fabrication by the RA…

6)  Culitus Minimus – The Bog House Lawyer

7)  Tara the Ho – Thinking the Hash is a running club! ITS NOT!! ITS BEEN A DRINKING CLUB SINCE 1936!!

On On to the Hash House, well, that took a little longer than expected as I ended up blocking the exit from the car park when my vehicle became temporarily disabled.  The tyre decided to fall off leaving me driving on the rims!  (That has nothing to do with rimming before you ask!)

At this point, I would simply LOVE to turn into The Galloping Gourmet and write an absolutely slating review of the meal.  It is indeed with great regret that I cannot!  The hares had lined up, once again, the Dominican Restaurant nearby…  A great selection of dishes were served, all delicious, a good few bottles of wine (Please note: NOT a few good bottles – This is the Hash after all) and the hosts were charming!  In conclusion: A great end to a great day!

On On to Larrys – What you expect me to remember any more after that point!  Unlikely!!

On On 4Ever

P-Maximus